38

Here’s that new blog you asked for, Eve!

Like one of those things that start off all heady — new year resolutions, love affairs that give you butterflies in the stomach (wink wink) and blogs that your best bud tells you you should start writing again because, come on, it’s your birthday — this blog may crash and burn and die a premature death like all those blogs before it. But, still not a good reason not to try anyway.

I turned 38 yesterday. I got handmade cards from the kiddos in my life, a playlist, a surprise dinner with friends, and lots of love from my tribe. It’s a cliche (though not untrue), but there’s nothing more I can ask for, and it’s everything I would wish for.

I’ve been joking that all my birthdays after the big 30 will be plain and boring, until the big 40, another major upheaval, maybe. (I hope not, for the sake of the people around me, if nothing else!) But it has not been plain and boring. I have discovered a very grounded sense of love and connection that can be best described as a warm fuzz, and I think it does me good in a rather profound way.

Yet, this year, by no action of my own, my life has become more open in a way I have been anticipating, but not in a way I’ve been imagining all this time (it never does, does it?). I’m still wrapping my head around how I truly feel, and it’s probably going to take a while.

The words in the Coldplay song “Amazing Day” from the playlist that Eve put together move me and give me a much needed morale boost. I’ll leave it here, and wish for everyday to be an amazing day.

Sat on a roof, named every star
Shed every bruise and showed every scar
Sat on a roof, your hand in mine, singing
Life has a beautiful, crazy design

And time seemed to say
Forget the world and its weight
Here I just wanna stay
Amazing day, amazing day

 

PS. In the post image are the birthday cake and downward dog mini sculptures handmade by my sister and niece.